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Thursday, July 22, 2004
The One With Lessons of Wedding 

It was only 10 months back when we got married. Being the eldest had its pros and cons. My mother wanted to make it as grande as she would, as my late grandmother would have wanted just as much. So basically, my mother was fulfilling her mother's dream as I was fulfilling my mother's. I have always wanted things to be as simple and as beautiful as it could. Not much fuss and mess. But it was inevitable. My mother was determined. It showed in our wedding. It was totally 'a dream come true'. It was nothing I could imagine. It was too beautiful to be true. And I had my mother to thank for it. She had sleepless nights and tireless days for months. She wanted everything to be perfect. It was all her ideas, her handwork, her strength, her energy that was put forward.

Of course, we had relatives coming over to the house, aunties, uncles, cousins, grandies and friends. Everyone was so helpful and full of surprises.

Aaahhh..surprises. With so many around and so much things to look at, my mother failed to foresee that some came with bad intentions. It was mostly miscommunication actually, however it got worse day-by-day and continuing. I guess we could say that everyone's basically the same but it's the heart that differs all; 'rambut sama hitam tapi hati lain-lain', even if we have blood relations. There's always the jealousy. The 'you-cant-have-it-all-i-want-it-too'. Plus having some badmouthing you, slanderings and wat-not.

But having a wedding, is like welcoming everyone to your home, an extension towards your heart. To see the sacred matrimony between two souls. Relatives and non-relatives, bad or good, close or far, will always be welcome. That's tradition. That's custom. That's living in a family. That's living in a society.

Thus, anything and everything can happen there. You just need to be aware of that. And to be strong to undertake more challenges that are coming your way.

If I could turn back time, would I want a different wedding? No. Definitely not. But I would definitely do something to get my engagement pictures back, and my other irreplacable pictures from the 'relative' and try to mend the family freud before it is as worse as it is now. I know my mother has learnt quite a number of lessons from my wedding, and I hope things would be better for my sister's in a few years time.

To all the coming newly-weds, it is always advisable to have a say in your wedding, no matter how little it might be. Nonetheless, if you are not really paying for everything, perhaps it is wise to just live up the dream of someone else's ie your dear mother. It's worth it, mind you. Have a splendid & beautiful wedding, as I had mine.

Thank you, Mama. And thank you, Akmal for being beside me all the way through.

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